So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
