I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My feet surprised me
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
