I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
