he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
