I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
