I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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