I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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