I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
