I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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