Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
