I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
why do cheetos always look like penises
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
