i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
