I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
