Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize