my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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