Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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