it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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