your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
