Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
