whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
