we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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