Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
