Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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