i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
