That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
