i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
