better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
