Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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