I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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