"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dear god my vagina.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
