Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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