You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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