3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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