You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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