What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
