We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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