I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
