i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize