Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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