My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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