We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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