that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
