Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
