I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
