If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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