Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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