I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
