I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
