non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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