He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
