Your face is a jimmy john
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
