Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
