Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
