doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
