i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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