How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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