i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
