i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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