I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
