Only a mothe r could love this liver
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
