Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
