He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
