im six kinds of drunk right now
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
