Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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