I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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