You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
from now on my penis is your penis
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
