I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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